4 cats

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4 cats

Postby skatty » Tue Jul 13, 2010 6:07 pm

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

To show off, the first man the Engineer called to his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.


Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.


Then the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."


Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen digestives.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3.


Everyone agreed that was good.


But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a pint of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.


Everyone agreed that was pretty good.


Then the three men turned to the Council Employee and said, "What can your cat do?"



The Council Employee called his cat and said, "Workshy, do your stuff."

The cat jumped to his feet........


Ate the biscuits........


Drank the milk..........


Sh*t on the paper.......


Screwed the other three cats........


Then, claimed he injured his back while doing so.......


Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.......


Put in for Workers Compensation................and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave..............







AND THAT IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO WORK FOR THE COUNCIL!!
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Re: 4 cats

Postby neuromancer » Fri Jul 16, 2010 10:21 am

Interestingly I had a meeting yesterday with some people in Highlands Council in Inverness - I wonder if I should share the joke with them - :D
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Re: 4 cats

Postby John H » Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:24 pm

neuromancer wrote:Interestingly I had a meeting yesterday with some people in Highlands Council in Inverness - I wonder if I should share the joke with them - :D


No ... It would breach their equalities code, you'd need a risk assessment first, you would have to prove adaequate cat consultation in advance, you would need a current permit to tell jokes ... and you'd have to explain it to them anyway!

:wink:
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Re: 4 cats

Postby neuromancer » Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:37 pm

lol :D
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Re: 4 cats

Postby John H » Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:43 pm

I spent my whole career in local govt (now retired).
The real tragedy is that the above is closer to the truth than you might realise!

:lol:
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Re: 4 cats

Postby neuromancer » Fri Jul 16, 2010 12:49 pm

John H wrote:I spent my whole career in local govt (now retired).
The real tragedy is that the above is closer to the truth than you might realise!

:lol:


I have a previous life in British Rail/Railtrack and I think it could apply there also :)
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Re: 4 cats

Postby Reaper » Mon Jul 26, 2010 11:13 pm

It'll all soon be a thing of the past. KPMG are in sorting out Councils as we speak. 15-20% workforce reduction on the cards, lots of long term savings. Once the £4M fee to KPMG is paid!
All our times have come...
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Re: 4 cats

Postby John H » Tue Jul 27, 2010 12:48 pm

Reaper wrote: KPMG are in sorting out Councils as we speak.


KPMG are every bit as bad as the Councils.
The disease has spread to pretty much the whole of British corporate culture, be it private or public sector.
We're doomed! :(
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Re: 4 cats

Postby Reaper » Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:52 pm

John H wrote:
We're doomed! :(


Speak for yourself - I'm hoping for a large pay-off! :D :D :D
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Re: 4 cats

Postby dezikrate » Fri Nov 05, 2010 10:44 pm

Lanarkshire council have the large initials MPC on all there vans what it means I do not know but I do know that all the locals refer to it as....MUPPETS,PUPPETS AND CLOWNS :lol:
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